i ordered an entire case (24 heads) of romaine from the co-op.  i have boxes of veggies on my porch.  people ask.  its ok.  i was worred the lettuce would gross me out juiced since i have so much of it i would need to commit to doing mostly lettuce for the rest of my fast.  it was cheaper and easier to get it in bulk.  luckily it is super tasty juiced.  i add some spinache or kale- some apple or orange and yum yum.  i had two big quarts of it today.  i became addicted to young coconut water last weekend and i realized today while talking about the psychology of food and addictions that i have a tendancy to latch on to something i feel is like a treat and even on a juice fast i have found my treat.  i will play head games around when i get to drink the next coconut.  yesterday i emptied five. 

the coolest thing though. was that as i was talking about it i identified that i had created an attachment to the coconuts.  my client asked what to do about that and i said the only thing to be done is to create space between myself and the attachment so that i remember i dont need it.  once i feel clear about listening to my body and not my mouth again, then i can reintroduce the coconut water.  i hadnt really realized any of this until talking about it.  what happened after i realized this was amazing though.  the attachment was gone. 

i made another lettuce juice and now the coconut doesnt even seem tempting.  i know i can either have one tomorrow or not. 
just recognizing the attachment was enough for me to let it go.

fascinating.

yesterday and today have been gorgeous warm and sunny.  i did 12 massages in the past two days and yesterday i went running and today i did an hour an a half yoga class.  i got a little dizzy with all the down dogs to pyramid standing poses- it was a bit vigorous.  i felt warn out.  during shavasana i moved my mat into the sun and fell into the deepest most peacful rest.  it felt almost impossibe to pull myself out of it when he rang the little chime.  it was glorious. 

i had a colonic on monday and it totally turned my whole life around.  i have been trying to figure out the last two days if i am so absolutely changed by the clean colon or by the sun.  or maybe i can just let it be both.  i actually gave myself an enema this morning.  its amazing.  i m not afraid anymore.  i just want to be that person who does them daily like brushing my teeth.
its so incredible to go through the day feeling that internally clean.  i think i have always had anxiety around my colon.  even when i did the 40 day master cleanse i still avoided properly careing for my colon and always have felt sluggish and avoidant about really addressing it. 

so the past few days even though i have worked a bunch i feel super happy and centered and loving the juicing now.  if the weather turns bad and i start to hate it again- i will know that i am in trouble- but really i do think the colonic had  a lot to do with it.  i highly recommend doing one if you want to lose weight, absorb nutrients better and let go of past shit both metaphorically and literally.